Friday, 4 November 2011

The Looped Letter...


Dear Boy,

It’s a shame I never got a chance to speak to you, and seen your outlook on life. If only we had a chance to meet, so you could have seen how everything turned out. Is it how I expected?  Was I a foolish thoughtless child or did my imagination blind me from the harsh realities of the world. The protection of my parent that allowed me to live. What can I say on my minds atlas my mother was and still is my world; I was and forever will be her star. I became the man of the house at a tender age and in her heart I probably still am. She has instilled values, taught me lessons.
Why am I going on about myself when this should be about you? How’s your mother doing is she still working the night job, I bet your Nan letting you stay up late at night. Never forget your mother's efforts though Boy, as you took your first breath she decided she lives for you. Remember Boy nothing within this world can compare to a mothers love. When you opened your eyes for the first time she knew her love was real. I remember when I was about your age 11 right? Yeah 9 years ago I was the perfect age it seemed then was the perfect stage of life. As I look back have I failed to perform my potential have I? This is only my monologue and the show will go on, waiting for the curtain to fall, but I’m not in it for the applause, save your claps as many need helping hands.
I apologise boy if I keep drifting off in this letter, but how's school? Life back then only seems only a distant memory. Your probably at that age aint ya? I’ve heard about you. That’s the age where I craved knowledge and affection, but as I grew I fort I knew it all, I challenged everyone around me, I grew angry. How I regret things I never said, things I never done. I can’t go back that’s life I guess. Still there is time to make things right, to leave an impression. Heard you went Margate the other week, there’s no sand where I am but the sands of time are slowly slipping through my fingers. Why did I have the want to grow older if only I could go back? I was carefree, my burdens were less, and capital was never on the forefront of my mind. How it has all changed within 9 years.
With my age comes responsibility, was I ready for this? I used to wake up with a smile, now I’m awoken by an oppressive alarm clock, telling me the hardships are real. The numbers on the clock say 11 how I wish I was still that age. How I've never noticed life steady ticking by. The days watching martial arts kicking men in spandex suits, the days of endless cartoons. how I miss them, TV’s never been the same, pity we could never watch them together. So Boy make the most of them, cherish them can’t tell you the last thing I watched honestly. All I wanna do is do right by you is that so hard to believe, it feels like your still with me every day, some say we look similar even. Whilst others spend time highlighting our differences. I look in the mirror and the reflection says we have the same eyes.

From Man

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