The Young Dreamer...

The boy silently pondered to himself, where did he see himself in the future

Thoughts a little premature for a mere baby,

but the thoughts of the satisfaction of success were long over due

He was born with a winning mentality, which was instilled within the brain of his

What a lucky child he was but he never knew it

He woke up sometimes in a daze, sheets soaked in a cold sweat

Asked while he rocked back and forth

How can everything that I've dreamt be made real

That's a question I guess he struggled with

As he sat up with a universal question that went answered,

but little did he know what a star he was

 He cried out for comfort, asked again

How do I stay motivated with all problems that I face on a daily basis

What problems does a mere boy have society responded

The voice that echoed though out the room

Everyone has problems, his reply short yet O so sweet just like him

That gives a whole new meaning to 1st person

He stared at the reflection in the mirror,

As the lights from his window, captured his line of thought

Play times over for myself he guessed, 

It was time for him to realize that he was in the process of becoming a fully-fledged adult

He gritted his teeth, pulled up his pyjama bottoms.

Thought to himself, Its time to take my place among the many others

Full in line, Full in rank, but realize I can take charge of myself

As in the end I'm a one man army

I have my own individual battles when there is nobody around me

I can speak for myself, use my mouth as a weapon, take aim, let loose, and fire.

There's a gradual change afoot but I want to remain the same.......BANG

Stay grounded with the true people around me........BANG

Never lose sight of my goal.........BANG

Grow to be the best man that I can be.........BANG

I want to banish the feeling of regret forever.........BANG

A silence fell in the room, as the lad still in deep thought

Thought to himself again

How do I stay motivated to do this, what’s my incentive?

My incentive is probably to feel that I have been successful, when I actually look back on life

To know that I have lived to my full potential

No regrets as the pain is only a formality for some

I hope to look back as I pass my knowledge that I have gained to those around me

Use the satisfaction of helping others as my medals,

Take pride with a smile for myself

He felt a hand on his shoulder, realized he was not alone on his journey

He was joined by his father at the window

As the last ember from the fireworks fell, he told himself,

That he didn't want his dreams to be put out with it

Happy New Year Everybody 

Besides The Banter...

He stood alone as life stood in the distance,

 and poked a finger in his side and ridiculed him

There's a clear divide between the man and his goals

He failed to realize them, he joked a lot, maybe to escape the pain of life

He laughed with others with a coherent vigour as they shared his pain

They held the same dream.

They laughed together caught up in the whirlwind of humorous thought

The pain sometimes so bad they nicknamed it Dorothy, as they dreamt to enter Oz

They failed to recognize the world around them for what it was

They failed sometimes to understand lied beneath

Preoccupied their minds with the crust, failing to establish the powers of the core

The living breathing heart of the world

That item that the sad tin man wished he had

What took him so long to speak out and,

Have the courage to deliver his views, to demonstrate the pride of a lion.

What was the reason behind the delay?

As he waited too long, until his wits end, his last straw, to set up a movement.

As he felt stagnant standing as a scarecrow,

With the crows picking at the brain he thought he had.

By the end of his journey he was given more knowledge then he thought that pre-existed,

Within the confines of his mind.

His eyes shut, his eyes open, fixed upon a new found goal

As he stands still his minds fucked by the world.

Anything’s possible within the world with thought,

"So let the magic happen" he said

He let down his sleeves but still he decided to work and

put in the graft as he was defiantly no wizard

Life's short think about it,

Munchkin this

Why are you not moving, living, enjoying,

But why don't you talk about the pain of the world...

Only Up From Here On In...

I've started to think happy thoughts,

Look at my mind as a white room as the pain of regret should be minimal.

I stand alone and face the grand size of the mansion of my mind.

My mind looks through two window panes to allow me to construct thought.

The heart is where the home is, so my loves lost deep within my minds maze.

The garden of creation, do I think too much or is there more to be thought.

 I don't think I possess the ability to access some parts of my brain.

I view myself as having house of knowledge, but you stand outside and think the house is a derelict abode.

How wrong, why not step in as the facade hides what lies beneath

Remember as one door closes another opens

Don't dwell on the short comings, as there is a long road ahead.

I rather take my house with me and rise up in the clouds of my imagination...

The Regret Of An Old Man...

I was a man that couldn't be in love, as I still don't know what true love is. Was I heartless? Or is there a space left to be filled? What was the definition of romance? I picked the roses not for her but for another, as the latter was the inspiration in my life. My mother was my everything. She was jealous of this, I was seduced by her, and she acted as my temptress as she was forever in the forefront of my mind.

I couldn't get everything I wanted out of her. I want now to forget about her so I can finally be free. I think I loved her; I was intoxicated with every new thought. Let me confide something in whoever is reading this, sometimes when she wore a particular red dress, I can admit she made my hair stand on end. I always questioned her "why you silent when many say that you talk?" She was always the silent girl within the class; it seemed to everyone that she was lost for words.

She was shy but I could see her worth, I knew she was smarter than that. I remember saying  " you gonna make me think I'm crazy please talk, say something so I can openly admit my love, why can’t you muster a reply, where’s the appreciation for everything that I have done for you." I remember the hard work and long hours I put in for her, I get it now sadly, and she used me like she used many others. I was just another conquest, another victim forever love struck with all roads leading to heartbreak.

As I retail my story let’s take it back and take a leaf from the story of eve, the Garden of Eden, the creation. How I wished one day to start a family , wished for a boy or girl that looked up to me as a role model, to be given a new name dad, as my birth name would be no more. I hoped to be given a new purpose within life, as it required me living and breathing for another. That's true love in my eyes, let me be the first one to admit, I was blind preoccupied by getting ahead chasing the tails of the girls, the same girls who bit back to crush the souls of the weak funny enough.

Let me note down what I have really accomplished in this life now. I left everything to chance, you could say I flipped a coin every day, I still get the feeling that me and her thought a like. I used to walk in the snow for her, I used to be woken in the early hours for her, even said at one point of my life she was above everything, cut off everyone around me. In my old age as death awaits me I can realize now I was so naive to think she could have satisfied me.

I actually now think she didn't hold all the answers, but she’s made me a better man. I can now use the relationship I once had as a learning curve, but god damn she had a figure in her heyday. She’s no longer my number one; she can be just another number searching for value. The care worker is about to bring in my afternoon meal, so finally the chase is over, she cost me everything, she distracted me from what was really important. I had family and friends and that's something no money could have never bought. The way of the world taught me when she called, I should answer. As I lived in hope for a better life....but I hope I can show to whoever who’s reading this that money doesn't necessarily guarantee happiness...

Living Colour...

When I sit and watch the sunset, I know you watch it too,

Just from another viewpoint you watch it too

When I wake to run my bath

You make your way to the river as I you just to wash too

As I decide what to eat for breakfast

You eat what is given I know you’re hungry too

As I clothe my skin in the latest fashions

You make do you just want to be warm too

I’m given the chance of better education

If only u had it too

My worries focus on sex, girls and money

If you were in my position would you think like me too?

The culture that consumes me excites you

You would probably literally kill to be in my position too

I care about number one call me a hustler

But your selfless head of a family at 15 you think of your brothers and sisters too

At the end of the day I think I envy you

As you enjoy the basics of life I wonder who’s in a better position me or you

You smile I smile I’m proud to be black I know you are too

Knowing that you’re black should make you have no limits

I'm a product of the western world but I would rather be like you

The Confession of A Damned Soul...

Leave your message after the beep...

Big man in the sky hope you realize I strive to be a better man

As I formally apologize for all my wrong doings

Looking up to my mother, who taught me to never bring pain to a woman

Helpless to see her struggle

Looking at her when she’s wondering if she’s gonna bring home the gains of a woman

Let’s pray together the high stays,

Sit back take a view up to the skies

But sometimes the true beauty lies in the trees man

I wasn't supposed to say that forgive,

But my man you made it the only way

Still in the sky with the smoke of the clouds,

Questioning the limits of a man

My man what would happen if tomorrows judgement day,

Would you accept the figure of a sinner?

Is there love in the heart to forgive me?

Because you’re depicted as being all lovable

Sometimes it feels you seek revenge,

And try to hit the nail to my head instead my man

What happen to your hands?

Why won’t you put them forward?

Are you haunted by the memory?

When I was young you gave me a hug,

So give me the love back my man

I haven't heard from you for a minute

Some gonna say you've always been there,

But there the same ones who suffer from hypocrisy

Why you forget my name my man?

You suffer from amnesia my man?

Or have you been busy helping everybody else

Or you been busy doing something else

My man I called you on Tuesday,

Why didn't you pick up?

Are you scared of me?

Or are you scared to make an awkward ice breaker?

Are you lost for words my man?

Or can’t you recognize me?

Talk up because right now seems your whispering to me,

When you find your voice I'm here

I can’t talk because I'm busy right now

My man it’s my time to be ...busy

Message deleted...

I Cant Laugh At Her Pain...

Inspiration taken from a Kevin Hart joke

Picked my target imma get mines today...Alright, Alright, Alright

No love,

Just pleasure,

We struggled,

Spread legs,

4 pokes,

No dom,

2 nuts,

No screams,

All night......imma get mines today.... Alright, Alright, Alright

shes hurt,

I’m fine,

She bleeds,

I run,

She cries,

I smile,

She never commits,

I forget,

She struggles,

I enjoy,

Suicide,

But I survive damn rape aint a joke...Alright, Alright Alright

Epiphany...

Let me take timeout away from blogging my thoughts to thank you for taking time out to read my blog, as most of what’s written represents the rambles of a crazy man. I live in a world filled with cynics and critics, but usually I’m the first one to express negative views on my own work. As I’m writing I've noticed there’s a difference within my writing, as contrasts can be said to be seen from the beginning to the present. I read back through my own work quite a bit, in an attempt to understand myself a little bit more. I actually find my earlier entries a little too depressing. I appreciate the change that I can see. As it marks gradual steps within my own development, as I come to terms with the inner workings of my mind. Sometimes it just takes a simple blow to gain an appreciation of the mind. I’m thankful that I can think, as without my mind I’m nothing...Within a world that struggles for difference as the man on the left a carbon copy to the man on the right. When people change, I remain the same...F*** evolution because I got faith I will succeed. I can never question my drive it’s a simple no brainer. Look at failure as no biggie because thought only starts with a small idea, as the lazy within society stand and watch with their eyes loosely, as others move with word and freedom of thought to use to breed inspiration…

The Arctic Circle...

It takes a great leader to take a step back for something he believes in...It takes a strong wolf to recognize the time to deviate from a pack, he shows distance from the pack, but stays away with a heavy heart....There's no love lost within the cold arctic winds if it already existed...Its a cold world as were driven by the hands of fate screaming MUSH...when will the journey end only time will tell, as the journey in front sometimes appears endless...I don't do friends in this world, only here for my bloodline which I extend to some who are not blood related...I welcome you into my family with open arms, because we chase the same dream and will run together until the end...Only death will separate us , if I ride with you, just letting you know I'm willing to lie with you...... as we come from the same wolf pack that howls together to ease the pain

Lets Rip The Runway...

I hopped out my bed turned my swag on looked out the window and said “damn well aint that a  b**** why’s it raining”

Back to bed I remembered dis one summer, dis one chick

I had my snapback on I’m finally a cool kid

You would have laughed to see how quick my neck snapped to watch her back

“Ayo shawty” so what if I got air I still got my Jordan’s on

Limited edition I’m need of a crep check so grab a camera freeze frame

But as I pose and stand still life continues

As I sweat for free in my Gucci I think about you in the shop in Taiwan you had to sweat for your money

You had to sweat to eat thinking about your next meal what a fucked reality

So I’m here thinking about a trip to NY, Paris, Milan the fine ass models

As you rip the catwalk how much kids in this world are looking to run way

Abused at 12 alcoholic step fathers, bully’s at school no place to go

And sometimes the main concern in this western world is how much name brands you want to show

I’m comfortable in my own skin but I won’t tell a lie I don’t step foot in Primark

I like to splash a little but my fashion obsession isn’t that deep

Thoughts of 14 years or so back and how my mum raised me

Single mum flat in south London I took what I was given

Now I’m caught up in society thinking about how I’m going to sustain the dream of higher living

Sometimes you don’t just have to look at labels because personally

If you have got one monclear jacket doesn’t necessarily mean that you have gone clear

But trust me I won’t knock your hustle it’s a nice coat an very expensive too

Just be thankful its worst in some parts of the world

Hip Hop Bigger Then Religion...

Hip Hop can offer the same beauty as a flock of birds within formation, but the ugly truth is it will never be truly accepted within British culture. As the powers that be try to stifle the growth of a community, thus belittling one of the most common art forms of expression. Can Hip Hop really be talked in the same breath as religion; sometimes word through rap can offer those who are not religious hope. Hip Hop allows conversion to those who are willing to accept, with no preference over skin colour or heritage as Hip Hop welcomes all. Joy can be felt as we sit back and listen to the rhymes off the rappers hymn sheets. Loose demonic Associations within rap exists but I think it’s a myth, as if religion failed to exist all that we would be hearing is music. Listening in for the calm purity, listening for clarity after every verse and hook. To Tell the honest truth not only Hip Hop but music has the ability the power to shape the world, it leaves its mark on the eternal fabric of time once were dead and gone. Hip Hop is typically surrounded by controversy but that’s the stuff it thrives off to allow to it to live, as without controversy there would be no sales. Take for example no church in the wild taken from the joint album by Jay z and my dude Kanye, it has served its purpose to enthral the masses. My last thought think of a concert as church filled to the brim as the crowd throw adulation to our modern day preachers, as they deliver the divine will of their life's through hip-hop. Some artists deviate from their true testimonies, this leaves the interpretations on the topic of hip-hop open ended. As Hip Hop always has a dark side which has the ability to alter the minds of the young. The joy of hip hop cannot be denied as it brings smiles among many, with every new metaphor and hard hitting beat...

A Bitter Blow To The Mouth...

Watching the back clips of the fight from last night brings forth a painful vision for the future of British boxing. Huge contrasts can start to take shape from the sorry excuses of today, to the hard hitting greats of British boxing such as the likes of Bruno, Ben, Eubanks and the most recent Lewis. The wannabe pretenders in my eyes have failed to emulate their predecessor’s exploits, evidently falling short. In my opinion Khan needs give a bite into the sweet fruit of humility, as he plays the blame game as a consequence for punching above his own weight." It was like I was against two people in there- the referee and Lamont himself," Said Amir Khan. The replays and highlights will show there are only two fighters in the ring, four individual hands to separate you from winning and losing. A boy whines and complains when his chips are down; a man loses the fight gracefully. He goes on to await his next challenge knowing he will put things right. The glorious sport is in danger of becoming just another soap opera, timidly following in the footsteps of wrestling...

Treat Everyday as a Sunday...

A kid nowadays born into a stable would be labelled a bastard...The stepfather gave him the love which is absent in the hearts of many...The paternal father that was never there would nowadays called a dead beat dad ...No one judged her when she fell pregnant under the label of a virgin...It wasn't debated then when three grown men followed a light to give gifts to a child...The story of Cain and Abel ending in death, two brothers, buts what’s changed, am I my brother’s keeper...A man back from the wilderness ranting about prophecy would nowadays be looked down upon mistaken for a drug addict...The people of Pilate drunk on their own private supply of holy water, hoping to ease the pain in search of a miracle...For the man I share my birth name with if his story managed to leak on the net, we would watch in anticipation silently wishing his ass got torn up... in the name of entertainment...

License To Story Tell...

 "Pass the pad, My turn"

His word was he’s bond, under the all-seeing golden eye

He’s in free fall it’s a damn shame he didn’t realize it sooner

He woke up in a jungle surrounded by so called kings wasting their lives consumed with a lion’s pride

The love of the money exists just don't disregard the man with ten penny's

Think he’s poor but to him he’s spiritually rich

They strove to shoot for the fame, the kid fought he missed his shot, typical story of an underdog

Little did he know the ability that he held, Mr modern day think tank,

But sometimes his thoughts became crushing led him on a path of destruction

Let me formally introduce you to my man's James,

but because he seems he’s doing nothing significant, by the end you all will forget my man's name

He’s stuck in the Jaws of Life, having to make do with every odd job to survive another day in these wild streets paved with conceit

Suffering from the pain hoping that the joy sticks to ease him in transition from downs to ups,

As he comes to terms with life's game

"Do you want the pad back?"

"Nah you can keep it bro! "  

Transition...

A New Year approaches on the horizon, this time of year could said to represent a time of reflection. There's always going to be various problems within society but with it there’s always the opportunity for change. What does the future hold I will never know, if I could would I want to know or would I leave it in the hands of fate. I can’t change the past why play god and medal with the future, I take every day as it comes as nothing within this world is guaranteed, I refuse to fill my mind with expectations. I was born to into this life to live, but I guess I realize now that I was born into this world to survive. As this is probably going to be my last entry for the year I'll leave you with my last thought. What if a bird woke up one day, felt the weight of expectation to great, decided he didn't want to fly today and would rather swim. What then? Try to preoccupy yourself with what’s right in front of you, don't let what you expect to happen rule your life…

Yours truly

Just Another Brother

The Riot Of The Imagination...

It’s easy to brand someone with an opinion on something. Brand someone who stands up against authority and call them a rebel without a cause. The question is why the person deviates out of the pack to stand up passionately for something that they believe in. Everything told to us by our so called superiors doesn't necessarily represent concrete fact, if you possess the ability to think and challenge what’s in front of you; this leads you onto the path individualism. If we all had the same views would there really be a reason behind the art of conversation. The world would appear a much happier place on the surface without controversy, but would this really represent a good quality of life.

Have a moment to think of a life without challenge, a world with nothing in place to push you to your limits and think outside the box. Generally the timid get nowhere within life, waste opportunities because the fright within life has evidently caught up with them upon life's stage. Many have ideas but few share, a grand respect should be given to someone who's willing to make a stand if they can hold their own within an argument. The beauty of a debate can bring enemies closer together, as well as separate existing friendships. Time stops momentarily as emotions collide together and gather pace. Through the expression of emotion can the human soul gradually grow? We experience many emotions during our time on earth, all different as we evolve towards stability.

An individual can sit solitary and complain why life is not going right for them, try to influence to bring others down with them. People are quick to highlight faults with some, delaying the praise which never comes. Sometimes praise can go a long way, can make the foundations for a good day which leads and acts as inspiration for a greater prospect of life. A few good chosen words can be used to motivate the unmotivated. Sometimes I question my own journey, life's filled with questions some questions never answered but would really a son of a carpenter no why the fixed framework of my mind appears to be splintered. Does he notice within the workshop of life he has created, that some of the puppets have started walking by themselves in order to dictate the way of life and have rose above their means to take control of those who struggle for guidance.

Human vanity dominates within the world; the puppets choose to refract the light of reality, which they distort with lies which are feed to the masses at will. Is his purpose solely to steer me towards reason but why does my mind show signs of being conflicted, I refuse to ask for advice as I am far from a religious man. Am I stubborn or just stuck in my ways, do I appear to be childish as I stay very much in tune with my everlasting opinions. The inner ravings of my thoughts being the secrets of my soul, most of them I'll die with. There are no limits to an imagination, once you lose the ability to think for yourself you limit the ability to live. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride to maintain the balance, to silence the inner riot, as some things go without saying...

The Rise Of Optimism...

Within Society we find it much easier to say then do. When we learn to abide by our words more, we step together in the right direction. Every individual has a purpose within society; no life can be regarded as insignificant or worthless. We all are destined for different things, but some never achieve fulfilment of their early promise. Never harness their gifts and work at their full capacity. It’s easy to be famous within the world, but much harder to forever be remembered as great. It’s hard sometimes to look at myself in the mirror to realise everything I have sacrificed could amount to nothing. I see myself as my own worst enemy; see myself as the sole individual upon this earth that can deny me progress. I sit and watch alone haunted at the reflection in the mirror, the smiling lifelong tormenter watches back gains pleasure within my instability.

 I live with fear, we all do some able to hide it better than others, as their outward appearance promotes confidence. In reality we all suffer, some struggle to come to terms with this. We shroud ourselves under the veil of doubt, which can lead us into the state of paralysis. Momentarily stare into the past thinking of what could have been, consume ourselves with regret. Regret is a possession I would rather much lose, but we are forever tied. Action generally causes a reaction, so why do some of us lie dormant? It’s easy to sympathize because what opportunities are there really for me within this world I question. Just another brother hungry as ever, haven’t we heard this before you’re wondering.

The government say that life is the buffet of opportunity, so I take it I got to grab what I can. It’s easily to be disheartened as you watch from a distance as others are silver spooned and fed. It’s an easy life for some, but I wouldn't trade my position as I have grown to appreciate the things that I have worked hard for. Success is there for the taking, it’s just how bad you want it. Success can easily be accessed, as everyone experiences a form of success within their lives. The hard part is finding a continuity of success, which can be built upon. How does a successful person better themselves, that's a question I ask you? How do we stay motivated under the all seeing eye of society? The answer could be said to lie within, it’s just if you’re willing to access it. Sometimes success can leave a bitter sweet aftertaste, but use it to your advantage to bring forth the rise optimism as pessimism is not the only answer...

A Man With Reason...

We all are given the power to think but struggle to find the power in expression. We all think, have an opinion on the world but thinking alone could represent the rise of anarchism. I’m just another brother with a view on life; I provide no difference to my predecessor or the man that stands next to me. We all have a story, we all have a beginning, but we find ourselves at different chapters of our individual developments. We think we know others, see and read what we want to believe, why are we quick to judge? Have patience in time they will let their voice be known, as everyone has a viewpoint...

Sometimes a little bit of gratitude for what we have in life goes a long way, as many face a life of misfortune. Every blessing and misfortune seen to happen for a reason, as many call it character building. In the midst of success it’s always necessary to pay homage, remembering to never lose yourself within the upheaval. Never forgetting where you came from or where you’re going. Many find it hard to stay humble within a society of adversity, those who say true go unnoticed. The birds that fly out the nest too premature, come crashing down to earth when their wings get clipped. Some in the flight of life find it hard to stay grounded and lose touch with their true identities. They were masks to hide from the past, but the past is patient and waits in the shadows. Infantile thinking promotes many to run before they can walk. We instinctively aid the child because the child knows no better. Watch the child as it grows, undergoing adolescence, but sometimes drift away before the child can gain the wisdom of old age.

There is always a chance for self-realization. The true test of a man is to identify their faults, voice them, learn and rectify. Cowards run from their problems, are you a coward? Running through life what will that achieve? Are you scared to make a change? Sometimes we appear selfish and deny the voice of reason. We find it difficult to be truly thankful for those who have watched our growth, those who have been there to make an impact on our lives. A life without friends would be a misanthropists dream. The journeys of true friends never begins together, the journeys show difference but ironically appear similar. Sometimes I look at the people around me and ask why it took so long for us to meet. Let’s not dwell on the question as I'm grateful for time that I have shared with them. A meeting of true friends represents two worlds destined to collide. The collision bringing forth a creative spark which will forever impact on the minds of people involved.

What is a true friend? There isn’t a definitive definition as no-one represents perfection. My opinion on a true friend is someone that you would call a brother or a sister within a heartbeat. You seem to fight sometimes but it’s only natural sibling rivalry. You feel their pain when they cry, you share their joy when they smile. A true friend knows the right time to be selfless, putting others before their own needs. We throw the title of friend around easily these days, is it because we long to be accepted? As we gain these new friends we see the world to appear smaller, allow our eyes to become limited and our minds narrowed. We revel in the adulation of these so called friends, but let anger ensue when they disappear in times of need. Some might take it as a bitter pill to swallow, buts it’s necessary to differentiate. See the difference between associates and friends, it’s a cruel business. If I've struggled with you, I would like to share my successes with you. If you add nothing whilst serving no purpose, cause the distance between me and my penultimate goals and dreams, it’s time to let go and adjust to the way of the world. Sometimes it goes without saying who your true friends are, as you develop a spiritual mutual understanding. If true friends lose contact temporarily they know they will meet again…

Lifes Factory...

Most of us are sat upon the conveyor belt of consumerism, merely viewed as a product of our own individual environments. Walking endorsements, advertising the culture of the west with every step we take. We are branded by society like cattle, herded within groups but we accept and embrace. We never challenge but submit, shun those who have differences. Make fun of those, who dream just to fit in. What they would do just to look like us but their means of capital cannot permit. Some claim to be captive, how can the captive of consumerism feel caged if the key is always right by their side. Are they lazy or have they just adapted to make the cage their home?

The journey started a while ago cultivated and fresh now with time we impose a manufactured identity. Some with no substance, others forgetting the notion of inherited culture. We are clones that have lost our way, mass produced commodities of society. Why are we never satisfied and have the need to want more, when some have never had the ability to possess. Would you give it all up for a day, see the world from an underrepresented perspective? Or is another’s opinion vital to your existence? Are you dependent on others? Or do you use self-confidence as an excuse for consumerism?

We fancy many ideas in life, but if we agree to them is the internal debate of human nature. I’m no hypocrite so I accept my position within this but I will always question how and why my fascination has grown this far. Driven on the route of evil enroute to the capital, if money represents evil why do the good still suffer? So I guess it’s a lose lose situation. The westernised children of the darkness that shy away from the light of humility. The dark restricts the light but we still live within a world of poverty, where the hopeless chase shadows. When will they realise that they are the ones that are free, the sad truth is that they will never as they endeavour to assimilate into the west. Enchanted by the promises of a better life and better opportunities. The fairy-tale of the west exists, the change within a mere urban legend...

The Looped Letter...

Dear Boy,

It’s a shame I never got a chance to speak to you, and seen your outlook on life. If only we had a chance to meet, so you could have seen how everything turned out. Is it how I expected?  Was I a foolish thoughtless child or did my imagination blind me from the harsh realities of the world. The protection of my parent that allowed me to live. What can I say on my minds atlas my mother was and still is my world; I was and forever will be her star. I became the man of the house at a tender age and in her heart I probably still am. She has instilled values, taught me lessons.

Why am I going on about myself when this should be about you? How’s your mother doing is she still working the night job, I bet your Nan letting you stay up late at night. Never forget your mother's efforts though Boy, as you took your first breath she decided she lives for you. Remember Boy nothing within this world can compare to a mothers love. When you opened your eyes for the first time she knew her love was real. I remember when I was about your age 11 right? Yeah 9 years ago I was the perfect age it seemed then was the perfect stage of life. As I look back have I failed to perform my potential have I? This is only my monologue and the show will go on, waiting for the curtain to fall, but I’m not in it for the applause, save your claps as many need helping hands.

I apologise boy if I keep drifting off in this letter, but how's school? Life back then only seems only a distant memory. Your probably at that age aint ya? I’ve heard about you. That’s the age where I craved knowledge and affection, but as I grew I fort I knew it all, I challenged everyone around me, I grew angry. How I regret things I never said, things I never done. I can’t go back that’s life I guess. Still there is time to make things right, to leave an impression. Heard you went Margate the other week, there’s no sand where I am but the sands of time are slowly slipping through my fingers. Why did I have the want to grow older if only I could go back? I was carefree, my burdens were less, and capital was never on the forefront of my mind. How it has all changed within 9 years.

With my age comes responsibility, was I ready for this? I used to wake up with a smile, now I’m awoken by an oppressive alarm clock, telling me the hardships are real. The numbers on the clock say 11 how I wish I was still that age. How I've never noticed life steady ticking by. The days watching martial arts kicking men in spandex suits, the days of endless cartoons. how I miss them, TV’s never been the same, pity we could never watch them together. So Boy make the most of them, cherish them can’t tell you the last thing I watched honestly. All I wanna do is do right by you is that so hard to believe, it feels like your still with me every day, some say we look similar even. Whilst others spend time highlighting our differences. I look in the mirror and the reflection says we have the same eyes.

From Man

I Dont Believe In Make Believe...

Why do we struggle this isn’t rhetorical it’s a question, that deserves to be answered. Not everyone in this world is given the privilege to be born into an ascribed affluence. Do we live in a meritocracy or does an invisible line exist. Where we are set apart from one another in groups, categorized by others for our own most minute imperfections. Are we genetically born winners and losers? Not everyone was built to win cruel as it sounds I stand by it. We are given the power to think, given the power to dream, given the power to want and given the power to achieve.

Life is what you make it, so make it happen for you. You can't sit on the fence patiently waiting; some can call it natural luck as success comes to them. As many wish the cruel game of hide and seek was over. Some do anything for the fame; say anything to get ahead, severe friendships in a heartbeat. While others try to imitate and come unstuck wondering why they choose to follow another's game plan. Within this world there are shepherds and there are sheep. The sheep get slain and slaughtered; the shepherds prosper gaining another herd for their endeavours. Why do some wait for guidance, when all they need is self-belief and confidence? Why do some refuse to speak, when the humblest voice can make the loudest impression?

We all possess gifts each to our own, no-one is perfect, and everyone has their faults. Everyone suffers the same but some are just born into a better position in life. Life experiences shape and mould you; we learn from our mistakes and gain new perceptions. We learn to adapt in a world where the slogan survival of the fittest dominates. Can a loser really evolve into a winner overnight? Can a non-believer suddenly believe? The meek get overlooked so when will they have a chance to inherit the earth; I accept this will not happen in my life time. Every day I rise above the oppression as the pain is only temporary, still I smile. I lived to see another day I'm humbly grateful. As there are many sublime wonders of the world I still have not met. In our short existents we should feel there is so much more to come. Every dream starts somewhere, but it only stays a dream if you don’t wake up...

In Loving Memory...

Were all destined to go at some point of our lifes some before others. Some live to witness change within the world, others die in order for change to occur. Attachment is the route of all sadness, as death separates us from the ones that we have loved. The ones that have been there, the ones that have watched us shape into the individuals that we have become today. The memories invoke pain but why cry when you can smile about the better days. Do we cry that you have died or do we cry that you have lived. Do we really cry about death, millions die everyday but we hardly shed a tear why? Do we understand about others pain, when we can only offer a condolence. If we preoccupy our minds with death we will never live. Born from the dust of the earth and to the dust we shall return, we cannot stop the inevitable. Whilst the inevitable beckons we are given the chance to prolong it with memories and success. Some were never given the chance to live, alive for only a second. Some lives are seen to be impaired by disability, but are minds are crippled to think they are not living too. Some lives born in poverty, the pain of life overshadowed by the comfort of death..

You Only Live Once.....

He had dream but has it come to fruition?

She sat down to revolutionise the world as we stand idle.

They had a feud, two died but have we learnt our lesson?

His music acted as a voice to unify mankind but we remain silent.

She was a singing sensation but also a broken woman, 

we focus on the latter why?

He brought colour to a colourless establishment, but some remain blind to his achievements  

We stood up an took notice when he ran, but we forget those before him that ran for their freedom

He was a star walked with the moon, captivated millions but will still questioned his character

The 20th of October 2011 in the eyes of some marked the death of a Tyrant, but do we celebrate the death of a Tyrant or celebrate the life of a Man with a vision. It could be said that justice has not been served, as the inhumane killing only strengthens the stance of western civilization. Still the western world finds it self in power, the west speaks while a African man denied a voice of protest and rebellion. Why is this when I thought this world we live in today strives for equality. Equality can never exist in the world, as slavery will forever act as a constant reminder of the past. The pleas for mercy from a man falling on death ears, as the rebels carried out the West's dirty work. Are we empowered to think we have control, why do we not challenge but easily submit?  There are faults within the notion of justice, Obama has called this day a "Momentous day" for Libya. America one of the countries which advocates the notion of a fair trial, where was his? Will this day unify a Nation or lead it into turmoil?

We will have to wait and see

Just Another Brother  

Change...

Why change my life around like a puzzle at will trying to force the pieces to fit, trying to make sense of everything that’s in front of me.  Change isn’t always as good as it seems as it only allows one to believe they are bettering themselves from their old lifestyle. Change brings new pleasures as well as adds to the amount of existing problems that already stood strong amongst the crowd of anxiety and fear.

What is change does it alter my perception, do I kid myself that I’m doing better than I was doing a month ago, or was I just better off in the everyday routine, the set ways that I had become accustomed to. How I longed to break the mould in hope of new direction, life’s full of twists and turns I guess I can’t rely on a pre-planned route so I guess that saves money on a sat nav, but I guess I never know if I’m making the next right turn or was I better off left alone with my original thoughts in the slow lane on the motorway.

What’s around the next bend is unpredictable if it’s a uphill I’m willing to climb to become a success, but with the up’s comes a down but I have the believe in myself, that I have the will power to pick myself up if I hit rock bottom, change brings uncertainty but I guess one has to embrace it with a smile and open arms as the life in front of us is short, which be enjoyed and stretched with much longer expectations and aspirations.

Am I My Own God?

Am I my own God or is it blasphemous of me even to ponder such a thought, as a human am I not in my own right to push myself and think outside the box and wonder if there was no higher power, more like a false sense of hope created by the masses to help get through a lifetime of suffering, would I be right in saying I have the ability to shape my own destiny, or is it there is a plan for me already.

 At points of my path has left me to question if I was the son of the father, why has my parent abandoned me and run away from his duties, do I resent the father that was never there to watch my first step or followed me to my first day of school or has he always been there in silence waiting for my call, has he left me to make my own mistakes, to make me hardened as well as strong willed but why has he not intervened, why has he never been there when I most needed him, if he is the father to many why don’t I feel at home amongst my millions of brothers and sisters.

He has left me to make my own way, as I cry for help and ask for direction I am left with my own thoughts, my own thoughts can be lonely sometimes, I am consoled by the thoughts of making my life worthwhile  

Being Black...

Descended from slaves but I still find myself a slave within modern society,

The term working for your wage gets thrown about a lot

But really are there opportunities of change for a black youth from south London,

The media seem to think there’s none, picturing me as a statistic

Not as an individual with grand ideas, goals and morals

Label me as I even begin to speak

Probably have a heart attack if I even tried articulating my ideas

I could never be ashamed of my colour,

I take pride in it my black birthday suit is probably the best item in my wardrobe

Others have altered their design to fit in with the expectations of society

Only God can judge so what’s the chance of me being a critic

But to be honest I wouldn’t change a single thing

From the sole of my feet to the top of my head

I stand proud to say I’m Black and embrace the hardships that entail with it

As a Minority would you say are we not getting heard?

Or are we just afraid to speak?

But as a collective we should never feel to be silenced

I would love to see a Black pm one day maybe

Erm on second thoughts I take it back would he/she have the freedom of expression

Would he/she be self-conscious of his or her actions within an English Britain?

Well good luck barack I guess

The Flight...

Sometimes I wonder the true meaning of life as a twenty year old Londoner, but I feel I’ll never attain it. I sit and wonder how life changes for the better or worse in an instant. How pain changes to joy and how joy changes to pain. It begs the question what do you live for within todays current climate? Is it for love, respect, recognition or even for a sense of self-gratification?

Times have changed so hopefully I have given my own projection and perception of life within the analogy of the flight. To view life as a single airborne flight maybe strange, with the initial take off which is birth, the inevitable landing which is most commonly known as death. To choose whoever’s guiding your flight as a metaphorical captain is your choice. To some up today’s modern generation, within the confines of the plane, there’s a separation with two very different sets of people and very different values.

 They are values somewhat projected by the culture we as people live in today, do you view yourself as a first class citizen? If so do you feel you can sustain a life style that entails with it? Within todays culture individualistic values knock, everyone seems to be influenced, chasing the same dream and hoping to follow the same path.  Is this for your own self-gratification, or is it to build a somewhat persona?  What makes a person different if their sitting in first class or economy. Well economy on paper looks like a struggle, but maybe in a way it allows you to appreciate more around you.

 If somehow confusion has struck let me ask you something would you rather be sitting in economy knowing that you’re rich with a smile on your face, or sitting in first class forever trying to keep up an appearance. The journey of the flight is packed with turbulence. So there’s always a chance of trial and error and self-discovery, but it’s for you to ask yourself have you been asleep so far and missed the inflight movie.  Have you been unaware as life has passed you by… the journey of life is considered a short one but I hope to see you at the final destination and hope you make it to the otherside.

There's Always A Beginning...

So where do I begin... well this is just an insight into my thoughts nothing more nothing less,the main purpose not to change your perception of anything, but to introduce you to new concepts and new ways of thinking, we all have a voice we just need to speak more.....

Just Another Brother