First there was Lauren the logo on her chest matched her
horse hair.
The thing only lasted a week because she wanted to go
shopping
I locked off the phone
I didn't even have time to reply with sarcasm and say follow
you where?
She was the wrong kind of B
Ironically the first day I checked her she held a Louis bag
Can you believe the bitch had the audacity to ask me about
my bank square?
The next in line I nicknamed her JD
When we met the first time I dropped the line
I got so many kicks, for a month I can run through your mind
Summer 11 I saw video evidence of niggers running through
her
This made me sick to my stomach
Thought to myself isn't this a bitch, did it happen all the time
Then there was Saint,
All the lads told me
she was a sophisticated and a expensive lady
I sniggered looked at my watch and said don't watch me watch
T.V
Fella's have you seen my bank account lately
You can’t knock me for my efforts
I was trying to think out of the box and be different bro
But why the hell did I ignore
The advice that my mama gave me and try splash money on a
hoe
Joke thing is she left me broke
But I was proud carried on stunting at least I had my
clothes
In the winter I hooked up a with a petite kinda lady
The age gap wasn't too bad
I didn't think twice when calling her baby
She had a slight temper on her I said "act your
age!"
Why didn't I see it coming when she replied "act your
wage!"
Where was I guys how can I forget Armani
She had many names on the streets of south London
But the name I met her with was Primani
Her ex left his mark on her
At first she told me I have to wait in line for the pussy
When I finally got to
the checkout I felt cheap,
But our sexual liaisons lasted a long time
She was quite reliable like the socks on my feet
I met the next girl in Oxford
Checked my breath as I walked up to her in the street
By the way guys I work in John Lewis in the linens
department
So the discount came in handy when I needed new sheets
One day I woke up and said the sex was getting boring
Headed for Miss Dixon looking for new beats
The love music played in my ears but I couldn't fall in love
So the next bitch I phoned was an untypically named lady
Her parents named her Apple
But after time I noticed she was rotten so after I macked
my hard facade crashed
But my drive remained
So I left just in time to protect my stack
Louboutin with the red bottoms was too tall for me
I huffed but I still travelled in search of satisfaction
which led me to her flat
But I still remained level headed
Thought this could be a new era
I tried to beat this one new thing but the condom wouldn't
fit
She struggled to put it on shouted "whys your head so
big?"
Obviously she lying,
I'm average height so my penis matches my size
I wouldn't lie about the size of my manhood
I'm just a couple inches past average sort of guy
Time to sit and reflect and think about the list of X's
But after my shopping trip on the receipt I was surprised by
the numbers
I'm now in the red so the bank froze my account
I learned the hard way sometimes it ain't about the numbers
The moral of my trip
is the prettiest bitches do the ugliest things
But if you cry about
it
You pretty much a bitch
